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Fish Phone

by Rich Awn

It’s your first date and you’re at the pricey seafood restaurant of her choice.  You want to impress and seem savvy by ordering the “right” dish.  You seem to remember reading something about tuna… yeah, tuna… it’s bad right?  Wait… or was it salmon… or grouper?  DANGIT!!!

Before you soak your shirt with anxiety and opt for the garden salad, your aquaculture-alert-on-the-go cell phone function has arrived… introducing, Fish Phone!

Our fishing-forward friends a the Blue Ocean Institute are the master mariners behind the “first sustainable seafood text messaging service.”  From geared up smart phone users to pay-as-you-gosters, anyone can tap the up-to-the-nanosecond news on species with significant environmental concerns.

The fish are ranked according to Blue Ocean’s evaluation of species’ life history, abundance, in the wild, habitat concerns, and catch method or farming system.  Health advisories are also provided indicating unsafe levels of mercury, PCBs, and dioxins.

Now take a deep breath, order the halibut, and get on with the courtship you eco STUD!

Thanks Fish Phone!

Photo by soxer123.

8 Responses to “Fish Phone”

  • Jaime Richardson Says:

    Why do all the articles on this site by Rich Awn read like parts of them were written by a semi-literate 17-year-old on cocaine? Is it meant to be amusing? It isn’t, it’s garbage.

    They are an embarrassment to this otherwise fine site. And Awn is meant to be our ‘Host’ here? Jeez…

  • Rich Awn Says:

    Ahem, ouch? Well, thanks for the compliment wrapped inside a snarky nugget of bile.

    I’d really appreciate a middle finger in the right direction to some material by semi-literate 17 year-olds on coke so I may better know myself.

  • Tracy Says:

    Wow harsh! I think Jaime needs to lighten up and quit being a d-bag. Damn it! I really want to use the word but I know green Air is a family site ;> I think Green Air provides interesting posts geared towards real people. And kudos to your Rich for printing Jaime’s comment, you’re an eco-superstar in my book. Keep up the good work!

  • Rich Awn Says:

    THANKS TRACY!!! Never thought our comments would become a soap box for d-bags…alas, this is, afterall, the Internet.

  • Jaime "D-Bag" Richardson Says:


    You guys are unbelievable. A little criticism of your work and you start throwing insults at a long-time reader.

    Admittedly it was harsh criticism, but, hey, it’s frustrating to see such brainless work by someone hosting this otherwise fine site.

    Your news pieces(whoever writes them) are almost invariably excellent. They are the reason I bookmarked this site and the reason I kept coming back here.

    Obviously you start to explore and I found the blog… but the quality level there is so variable and everything written by Rich is so deeply inane.

    Before I read the ‘about’ section I assumed Rich to be a junior writer (and one who was not being properly edited) and Christine Zhang was a full time writer. To find out the nonsense pieces were by the guy in charge and the thoughtful, actually-about-environmental-issues pieces were by an intern, a girl who looks about 18, was gob-smacking.

    Here’s a thought for you. I’ll lighten up if you smarten up.

    As a Greenpeace campaigner since 1973 I’ve loved the Internet’s role in promoting green issues. To see the stupidity in the name of environmentalism that Rich is producing stings more than a little. And to see your only response to criticism is to hurl insults saddens me more.

  • Rich Awn Says:

    Again, thank you for the compliments and support. I’ll reiterate the point of the Blog section as an area I get to have fun with… not really meant to be the pressing topics covered in other sections.

    Christine came to us as an absolute GODSEND. She writes almost all of the Green Air Filter News and as a young writer has enormous talent. The rest of the content on this site is written, brace yourself, by me: Rich Awn, your inane host.

    I’d think that as a supporter of Greenpeace, you’d have more encouragement than snark for new sites like Green Air that carry a vision of hope and humanism rather than doom. I’m all up for criticism in all it’s forms and won’t shy from posting them but give me some specifics – What would you like to see more of? How can we do a better job? Your venom won’t help.

  • Gummy Bear Says:

    Rich Awn is God!

  • Rich Awn Says:

    My father would be proud. :)

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