How to build a ZERO impact rocket (for Halloween)
by Rich AwnWoah! Been a minute since I’ve posted in here… what HAVEN’T I been doing!!!???
HAPPY HOLLOW-WEEN!!!
Here’s how you deal with Halloween and stay green and save money - FIND EVERYTHING! Step by step on how to retrofit a sustainable rocket (as your costume).
1.) Get lucky.
Riding by at break neck speeds on my Cannondale about two weeks ago, I noticed this fully formed cardboard structure on the side of the road. Without stopping, having only seen it for 2 seconds, and about a half a mile down the road, using my powers of Halloween intuition, I thought it might’ve made the best rocket costume ever.
Sure enough, it turned out to be the coolest rocket I’ve ever seen made of cardboard, definitely some kind of Scandanavian kids toy judging by how well it’s crafted. Kicking myself for not having come for it the night before, I found it the following day (luckily) to have been kicked in, stomped on, and pissed on. The smell of stale urine actually tuned me away at first and I finally stiffened up and vowed to restore it to is original splendor in the name of all things hallowed.
2.) Cut out the urine-soaked base.
Working on the refurbishing and retro-fitting for the zero rocket, the foul odor emanating from it’s interior was stifling. With a few quick slashes of a box cutter, the problem was solved and peace was restored to the restoration. Be sure to cut out just enough for the structure to fit firmly on the hips without compromising the structures overall integrity.
3.) Add a harness.
Using the camel back attachment for my girlfriend’s hiking bag, I laced a piece of nylon rope though holes I made 1″ apart along the back, poking them through with a fillips head screwdriver. Just like lacing a sneaker, I cris-crossed the rope over the back of the camel back and under the shoulder straps at the height necessary for the rocket to sit comfortably just below my waist and high enough for me to see out every port hole.
4.) Add an interior light.
Using rechargeable batteries and this cool old fluorescent light I found in the bottom of a tool box, I used the aforementioned “shoe string” principle to attaching the light. Less holes were necessary and shorter rope but it worked just fine.
Et voila! As you can see from the slide show, it looks amazing… and the best part about it is that it’s recyclable and/or you and an agressive mob of candy-crazed trick-or-treaters can bash the hell out of it at the end of the night.